So after leaving the current Mrs B and all I know that is comfortable, I honestly believed within a week or so I would have got a room in Harrogate to rent and begun to feel settled. It's now March 2012 and I'm still in Thirsk, not that this is a bad thing, I enjoy being with M&J they are a lovely couple and we have shared plenty of laughs I've even been able to witness some of their laughs. I feel very privileged and honoured that these are my friends.
Can I just say, that for me, the hardest part of making this change is knowing I've upset someone, that there is someone or two people in particular that have been affected by by decision. I only hope one day they too can experience the benefit of what I have decided.
I contacted K one of the above mentioned people, I wanted him to know that I am still here if he needs me. His response was very mature and polite, he kindly refused, I replied to say that I respected his decision but that the offer would always be there. you see it's not a 'response' I was after, I was offering him something, something without limits or agenda, that offer is still there.
At this point it was clear to me I had to give him complete distance, if he needs me he'll find me and I'll look forward to that time.
My aim is still to move to Harrogate and hopefully before the end of March, though I have doubts this will happen. What has happened though and one of the reasons I made such a change in my life, I am coming across more and more opportunities. I qualify as an NLP Practitioner next month, there is an opportunity for me to go on and complete the Masters, if I had not made the change that option would have come with so much conflict. other opportunities? Well, My cousin Katie gets married next year, had I not changed I would have had to wait until the last minute to say whether or not I would be there, but today I sent a message to say I will be there! this is a tiny, tiny thing but I appreciate it much more because of my experience over the last 4 1/2 years. Who knows, by then there might be a plus 1?
Over the last few weeks I have given this a little thought though not much....Honest! Friend have asked me what is my 'type'? to be completely honest..I don't know. I can honestly say that right now, I know what they mean by saying "Looks aren't every thing" Someone who will encourage me to take the risk when there are benefits to be had, for this to happen this 'someone' would have to believe in me. At the same time someone who will rope me back in when I get carried away. Laughter, now this is vital! Sometimes the sick ironies in this world make me laugh then the fact that others are too cowardice to laugh at them makes me laugh even more so someone who knows what makes me smile and not judge me on the things I laugh at but judges me on what I DO! This is far to open to describe any one I know at present specifically but I'm not ruling anyone out either. To be..again...honest, the thought of relationships at the moment tires me, the last 4+ years have exhausted me. Right now, I just want to be amongst friends.
Night all
Mike
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